The holiday season is a festive time for gathering with loved ones in celebration. At Sunset View Cemetery, our caring staff members know how difficult this time of year can be for those grieving the death of a loved one. The pressure to put a bright face on amidst holiday festivities may leave you uncomfortable expressing sadness or spending time in solitude and reflection. Managing your holiday expectations can provide peace of mind even while grieving a heavy loss. We want to encourage every grieving neighbor in El Cerrito, Piedmont, and Pinole to celebrate the holidays in a way that makes sense for their grief journey.

Set healthy boundaries around holiday events.

During the holiday season, our social calendars fill up with festive dinners, cocktail receptions, gift exchanges, and more. You may feel pressured to accept every invitation you receive, but there’s no need to do so unless you have the energy to attend. Remember to set healthy boundaries during this time of year and express how you feel to family and friends. They’ll most likely understand and respond with empathy.

Ask for the specific help you need. 

The festive season leaves many people feeling overwhelmed with decorating, gift buying, and making holiday arrangements with family and friends. If you’re grieving a loss, you may feel especially overwhelmed with seasonal tasks and responsibilities. Share how you’re feeling with those in your closest circle and ask for the specific forms of help you need. Whether it’s a friend to accompany you on a gift-shopping excursion or an hour or two of babysitting, see how others in your life can support you during this time. At the same time, if you feel up to it, extend a helping hand to someone you know who needs help. You might be surprised at the emotional benefits of supporting others in challenging times.

Notice your triggers.

Celebrating the holidays without your loved one can leave you vulnerable to sadness and pain. For some people grieving the death of a loved one, holiday decorations and music may trigger intense feelings of grief. Setting a place at the holiday table for a loved one who has died may bring solace to some who are grieving, while others may find doing so exacerbates feelings of grief. If hosting the usual holiday dinner triggers your grief, give yourself permission to resume the tradition next year.

Remember that it’s okay to not feel festive during the holiday season.